Sometimes, the only way to save a galaxy is to conquer it. Soda, the sassy Neon Octopus wants her Overlord job back. But she'll have to battle the weird collection of snarky supervillains standing in her way. Prepare for galactic mystery, idiotic bureaucracy, and shenanigans.

Soda, The Neon Octopus ex-Overlord, wants her job back and she'll stop at nothing to get it. But when the board of directors in charge of the process meet an untimely demise, all at the same time, the rules change. A change that allows every supervillain in the galaxy to join the fight for power in a winner-take-all brawl that will change everything. 

The candidates:

Soda is a sassy, immortal space octopus with a temper. Her special skills include teleportation and inappropriate use of tentacles. She's going to take back what was hers.

Floyd is a brainwashing therapist by day and a terrifying Preying Mantis called Mantix in his free time. Also, he's an Executive Producer of the tv show All My Wormholes. He believes he should rule the galaxy.

Froggy is a master of technology, which he harnesses for evil purposes. He's also an interstellar traveler who has finally found his Zen. He wants to prove he has what it takes to be Overlord.

Ray is an Intergalactically famous Oracle with millions of adoring fans and a flair for the dramatic. He has wanted to be Overlord ever since he arrived in this galaxy and he knows that it's now or never. He and his pet troll Chipmunk are ready.

The only question is, will the galaxy survive the brawl?

PLEASE NOTE: Although this book is part of the IRISH LOTTERY SERIES, there is no cliffhanger. It is true that the characters get older as the series progresses, but each book is a complete story, and can be enjoyed without having read the previous book.

Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but hardened mother of seven Fionnuala Flood plans on serving hers up frozen. Or so she thinks.

The bells are ringing out in Derry, Northern Ireland, as the dirt-poor Floods and the rich and entitled Riddells prepare for the pairing in matrimony of their families and a bridging of the gap between the two sniping communities. But some are not best pleased, and it might be more a case of For Whom The Bell Tolls.

What is the price to be paid for a mother's love? For daughter Dymphna and son Lorcan, dangerously high. Fionnuala is already furious Dymphna has put her arch nemesis, Ursula Barnett, on the wedding list. Then beloved son Lorcan, fresh out of prison, announces he's emigrating to the USA. He'll get there. Unless Fionnuala gets her way.

In Wisconsin, Ursula and husband Jed will find a trip to Derry difficult, as Jed's gambling has them teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. The last chance to save their floundering beef jerky business will be to appear on Attack of the Killer Investors! But Fionnuala has ripped up their invitation, in any event. When they hear shocking news of Dymphna's death, getting the investment from the TV show is essential.

Throw in a rabble of geriatric religious fanatics, poisonous ham hocks, an X-rated wedding cake, a gown from Hell, mix with rivers of drink, intolerance, jealousy and shame, and you have Best Served Frozen, a rip-roaring tale jam-packed with dark humor.

Cover by Marco Maldera

Watching her two nephews and a puppy named Thor for the weekend was supposed to be fun for Greenly Kendrick. Sweating to death at a never-ending baseball game while getting gum in her hair, soda down her shirt, and an ice cream pedicure wasn’t part of the deal. Neither is finding out the best blind date she’s ever stood up is there to witness it all.

Longest. Weekend. Ever.

Except it doesn’t stop at one crazy weekend. Embarrassment turns into mortification, a head wound, and being patch up by her amused knight in shining armor.

Roman Carpenter can’t help laughing at Greenly’s mishaps, but for some reason, he sticks with her through it all. At least, until his ex-wife shows up and starts causing trouble. What started off as a strange, yet promising relationship, might be able to survive spiteful exes, but adding in a stalker that puts everyone on edge and pulls the police into the mix, might push everyone past their breaking point.

David Sedaris returns with his most deeply personal and darkly hilarious book.

If you've ever laughed your way through David Sedaris's cheerfully misanthropic stories, you might think you know what you're getting with Calypso. You'd be wrong.

When he buys a beach house on the Carolina coast, Sedaris envisions long, relaxing vacations spent playing board games and lounging in the sun with those he loves most. And life at the Sea Section, as he names the vacation home, is exactly as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing realization: it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself.

With Calypso, Sedaris sets his formidable powers of observation toward middle age and mortality. Make no mistake: these stories are very, very funny--it's a book that can make you laugh 'til you snort, the way only family can. Sedaris's powers of observation have never been sharper, and his ability to shock readers into laughter unparalleled. But much of the comedy here is born out of that vertiginous moment when your own body betrays you and you realize that the story of your life is made up of more past than future.

This is beach reading for people who detest beaches, required reading for those who loathe small talk and love a good tumor joke. Calypso is simultaneously Sedaris's darkest and warmest book yet--and it just might be his very best.

"Witch, witch, you make me itch. I'd like to beat you with a switch." 

A struggling novelist travels the world to avoid an awkward wedding in this hilarious Pulitzer Prize-winning novel full of "arresting lyricism and beauty" (The New York Times Book Review).

WINNER OF THE PULITZER PRIZE
National Bestseller
A New York Times Notable Book of 2017
A Washington Post Top Ten Book of 2017
A San Francisco Chronicle Top Ten Book of 2017
Longlisted for the Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence, the Lambda Award, and the California Book Award

Who says you can't run away from your problems? You are a failed novelist about to turn fifty. A wedding invitation arrives in the mail: your boyfriend of the past nine years is engaged to someone else. You can't say yes--it would be too awkward--and you can't say no--it would look like defeat. On your desk are a series of invitations to half-baked literary events around the world.

QUESTION: How do you arrange to skip town?

ANSWER: You accept them all.

What would possibly go wrong? Arthur Less will almost fall in love in Paris, almost fall to his death in Berlin, barely escape to a Moroccan ski chalet from a Saharan sandstorm, accidentally book himself as the (only) writer-in-residence at a Christian Retreat Center in Southern India, and encounter, on a desert island in the Arabian Sea, the last person on Earth he wants to face. Somewhere in there: he will turn fifty. Through it all, there is his first love. And there is his last.

Because, despite all these mishaps, missteps, misunderstandings and mistakes, Less is, above all, a love story.

A scintillating satire of the American abroad, a rumination on time and the human heart, a bittersweet romance of chances lost, by an author The New York Times has hailed as "inspired, lyrical," "elegiac," "ingenious," as well as "too sappy by half," Less shows a writer at the peak of his talents raising the curtain on our shared human comedy.

"I could not love LESS more."--Ron Charles, The Washington Post

"Andrew Sean Greer's Less is excellent company. It's no less than bedazzling, bewitching and be-wonderful."--Christopher Buckley, The New York Times Book Review
 

Who knew that losing your shadow could cause so much trouble?

Meet Phillis Tomson, your run-of-the-mill, font-loving, people-fearing, terminally-shy hermit who would rather spend his days staring at fonts than talking to anyone.

His shadow Phil, on the other hand, wants to run with the bulls, bungee jump and ride Space Mountain. And when Phil senses an opportunity to break free from his adventure-averse host, he seizes it with both shadowy hands.

The Guardians of Universal Order do not take kindly to Phil's dash for freedom -- a flagrant violation of the shadow-host bond -- and immediately unleash an apocalyptic wrath so intense that it threatens to rupture the very fabric of reality.

All Phillis Tomson ever wanted to do was stare at his fonts, but those days are gone.

The fate of the universe now rests on one man and his want-away/went-away shadow.

If you like Tom Holt, Terry Pratchett, Justin Anderson and Douglas Adams, then you’ll love the strange, hilarious, often confounding shadowy world of the Man Who Lost His Shadow.

London, 2045. Three months into the Coffee Wars and Britain’s caffeine supplies are at critical levels. Brits are drinking even more tea than usual, keeping a stiff upper lip and praying for an end to it all.

A secret Government coffee stockpile could save the day … but then mysteriously disappears overnight.

One man is asked to unravel the missing-coffee mystery. His name is Pond. Howie Pond. And he’s in desperate need of a triple espresso. Meanwhile, his journalist wife, Britt, is hunting royal fugitive Emma Windsor on the streets of the capital.

Can Howie save the British Republic from caffeine-starved chaos? Will the runaway royal be found? And just what will desperate coffee drinkers do for their next caffeine fix? Find out, in this fabulously frothy comedy romp set in a Britain of the future.

Amazon #1 Best Seller in Comedy, Dark Comedy, British Humor & Satire and Political Humor

This steaming-hot comedy-thriller from coffee addict Paul Mathews contains mug-fulls of British humour, big lumps of laughter and a generous splash of satire. With enough coffee jokes to keep you awake all night, it's guaranteed to set your pulse racing faster than a quadruple espresso.

So what are you waiting for? Grab it while it's piping hot and treat yourself to a coffee comedy to go!

What The Reviews Say:

"Great fun! Fast-paced comedy and suspense with a generous serving of satire. You'll want to read the series."

"I don't even like coffee ... but this book was still terrific. I love how so many of the side characters continue to appear in these novels. Makes it feel more real ... I read it on a plane and startled my seatmate a few times when I couldn't suppress the giggles. Fast-paced and fun, with a light mystery woven into the fabric. Howie and Britt rock. I can't wait for the next one!"

"Great book! Really funny quirky English humor! I am starting on the first book now, We Have Lost The President. But books are easily read independently."

"A real kick ... And a fun read."

"I have read all three of the 'We Have Lost the ...' books, and they started out good and are getting better ... The characters are 3-dimensional, well developed, likable and consistent throughout. The story lines are fun, and the humor will make you laugh out loud at times. Thank you, Mr. Mathews."

Fifteen years after losing most of his family to a devastating, pudding-related tragedy, Simon Debovar has settled into a life of self-imposed exile from the stinking, selfish morass of humanity. Content that his daily highlights will include hazelnut coffee, a long bath and the occasional jar of olives, his life is completely upturned by the discovery that his ornate living room carpet is the deciding factor in a bet between God and Satan.

When mysteriously well-timed carpet thieves deprive him of the crucial heirloom, Simon is forced to leave his hermit's existence behind for a world of angels, demons, witches and immortals.

And then it gets complicated.

"Anderson’s writing is a joy to behold – his characters are all well-rounded, and he sets each scene perfectly, filling each with snappy, hilarious dialogue. This is a book I will read again and again, and I will be keeping my eyes peeled for Anderson’s next novel, as well as the inevitable news that this has been optioned by either the BBC or Hollywood. If you enjoyed Neil Gaiman’s “Good Omens”, then you’ll LOVE this book!"
British Fantasy Society

"There are so many delightful surprises showcased within these addictive and extremely witty pages. Anderson has a flare for rather classic characterisation from Simon’s introvert insecurity to the potty-mouthed loudness of his alcohol-swilling Great Aunt Harriet (one of only three survivors of the Debovar dessert massacre), a double act that should go down in literary history."
SciFiNow

*2018 AUDIE AWARD-WINNER*
"The unusual premise develops into an engaging journey through evocative world building, endearing and intriguing characters, and a heavy dose of humor. Davies's ability to juggle multiple narratives and a sizable cast of characters is both refreshing and delightful; he skillfully switches accents, personalities, and sides of battle, adding depth and relatability to each character. Anderson's storytelling is multilayered and inventive, and Davies's warm tenor is comforting yet invigorating. Together, they carry listeners deftly through Simon's adventure. An ideal listen for fans of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett."
Audiofile

Debut author Sally Thorne bursts on the scene with a hilarious and sexy workplace comedy all about that thin, fine line between hate and love.

Nemesis (n.) 1) An opponent or rival whom a person cannot best or overcome.

                       2) A person’s undoing

                       3) Joshua Templeman

Lucy Hutton and Joshua Templeman hate each other. Not dislike. Not begrudgingly tolerate. Hate. And they have no problem displaying their feelings through a series of ritualistic passive aggressive maneuvers as they sit across from each other, executive assistants to co-CEOs of a publishing company. Lucy can’t understand Joshua’s joyless, uptight, meticulous approach to his job. Joshua is clearly baffled by Lucy’s overly bright clothes, quirkiness, and Pollyanna attitude.

Now up for the same promotion, their battle of wills has come to a head and Lucy refuses to back down when their latest game could cost her her dream job…But the tension between Lucy and Joshua has also reached its boiling point, and Lucy is discovering that maybe she doesn’t hate Joshua. And maybe, he doesn’t hate her either. Or maybe this is just another game.

London, 2044. Britain is a Republic. President Jan Polak has vanished overnight from Buckingham Palace, just weeks before an election. Has he been kidnapped? Killed? Or just overdone it with the vodka? One man is determined to find out - as soon as he's eaten his breakfast. His name is Pond. Howie Pond – the President’s official spokesperson and wannabe secret agent.

With only a love of James Bond films and London pubs to guide him, Howie sets out on a mission to solve the missing-President mystery, while consuming at least three meals a day. But with his journalist girlfriend, Britt, soon onto the story, the race is on to see who gets to the truth first..!

Amazon #1 Best Seller in British Humor & Satire, Comedy, Dark Comedy and Political Humor

This debut comedy-thriller novel from English author Paul Mathews is packed with sharp British humor, crazy characters, dynamic dialogue and a mystery that will keep you guessing from beginning to end. You'll be transported to a low-tech, high-comedy, post-revolution Britain where the royals aren't welcome and Buckingham Palace is now the centre of government. As well as painting an intriguing vision of the future, the story also casts an eye to the present – mixing satire with traditional British comedy around the trials, tribulations and absurdities of everyday life.

What The Reviews Say:

"If you like British humor and still love a good suspense story, that's the book you are looking for. I'd say it has a very 'Douglas Adams meets John Grisham in a pub' kind of plot."

"So much fun! I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It is well written, laugh out loud funny, and keeps you wanting more."

Dr. P. J. Miller's story is unique. Growing up in New York City, who would have thought that he’d complete his veterinary degree at the Royal School of Veterinary Studies in Edinburgh, Scotland? In Cute Poodles, Sweet Old Ladies & Hugs, Dr. Miller has assembled a "greatest hits" of veterinary tales—stories that include colorful clients, wisecracking hospital staff, and pets that aren't always friendly.

Cute Poodles, Sweet Old Ladies & Hugs provides a humorous look at what Dr. Miller went through to become a veterinarian and his daily life as a doctor, told only as a typical New Yorker could. Underneath the humor, Dr. Miller gives a glimpse of how strong and emotional the human-animal bond can be, becoming an instant must-read for any aspiring veterinary professional or animal lover that wants to know what it is really like to be a veterinarian.

See his website for further information about the book and for more veterinary tales http://www.yodrmiller.com/

Ella Hannaford has a small business to run, an overworked father to look after and a future stepmother who wants a perfect wedding.

Can she avoid a girly night out with her clueless stepsister? Can she side-step lovesick suitors at every turn? Not if it’s up to that team of foul-mouthed dwarfs who want to forcibly drag her into her happily ever after.

Gingerbread cottages, dodgy European gangsters, gun-toting grannies, wisecracking wolves, stubborn fairy godmothers, ogres, beanstalks and flying carpets abound in a tale about what happens when you refuse to accept your Happy Ending.

A post-Brexit, post-Trump romp through the world of what-if...

In a world where democracy has been declared no longer fit for purpose, a cohort of randomly selected British Republic citizens receive their call to serve in parliament. As the strangers gather to learn their tasks for the next three years, the Cabinet Support Team try to fit jobs to skills—but Queenie can’t do nuffin’. Naturally she becomes head of state. Together the new government muddles through, tackling unrest on the streets and a spot of global bioterrorism in addition to their own journeys of self-discovery.

‘This is hilarious!...shades of Terry Pratchett mixed with everyday realism.’ Goodreads Reviewer, 5 stars

He thinks he’s a deadly ninja. He's not. He’s Barry Harris and he still lives with his mum.

Barry's been patient, but after twenty-seven years of trimming hedges for people he hates, he's had enough. All he wants to do is to find his missing father and to discover his inner ninja. But life’s not done with throwing him curveballs.
A fatal mistake catapults Barry into the adventure of a lifetime. With talking hedges, samurai ghosts, meddling psychotherapists, and an inexplicably non-linear time pattern conspiring against him, Barry must do battle to save his hide, unleash the ninja within, and rescue his father from an ancient army, a dark sorcerer and a raging inferno.

What is the mysterious Prophecy Allocation Department?

Where is The Before and After?

Even more importantly, Will Barry’s underwear hold out until he has saved the day?

ROY BLABS, 27, a handsome but rumpled college chemistry professor, is puzzling over a formula when TWO STUDENTS accidentally start a chain reaction. Racks of laboratory glassware fall like dominoes, splashing into Roy’s ramen lunch. When he tosses it into a trash bin, he makes an amazing discovery: The noodles can be sculpted into any shape imaginable.
Roy is rushing to the post office with a stamped envelope when he runs into his ex-girlfriend JANE HAGGARD. A svelte but scrappy 25, Jane is fleeing from two mean-looking hulks, THUG and GOON. After a brief struggle, she manages to escape. Thug and Goon capture Roy instead, intending to use him as bait. Roy claims to have no business with Jane, as he’s a chemistry professor, and she’s with the police. Distracted by some lawn sprinklers, the bumbling baddies let Roy slip away. Then the adventure really begins...

PLEASE NOTE: Although this book is part of the IRISH LOTTERY SERIES, there is no cliffhanger. It is true that the characters get older as the series progresses, but each book is a complete story, and can be enjoyed without having read the previous book.

It's danger on the high seas for the Barnetts, but will it come from the authorities, Mother Nature or family Flood?

In Wisconsin six years ago, Ursula Barnett accidentally defrauded her local church of thousands. The statute of limitations is inching closer, and the police are circling in. Panicked, Ursula books herself and her American family passage on a budget centennial Titanic cruise, hoping to ride out the investigation and embark a woman redeemed.

But lurking amongst the leaky walls of the Queen of Crabs is a danger worse than disgruntled, poorly-paid staff, bad food and terrifying onshore excursions: her Irish family, still resentful of the Barnett's lottery win years earlier. Sister-in-law Fionnuala Flood, knowing Ursula is a sitting duck for the next twelve days, rallies the family to retaliate, stopping at nothing to drag lady of leisure Ursula back down into the gutter that is their own life. The Queen of Crabs, though, is not Derry, Northern Ireland, but an alien battlefield, where the Barnetts and Floods find more enemies lurking outside the family than within.

Fleeing The Jurisdiction is equal parts Titanic, Love Boat and Voyage of the Damned, a darkly comic story of family relationships, the politics of envy and, perhaps, some personal redemption.

PREGNANT VIRGIN WALKS INTO A TOWN...THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

"Expect the unexpected! ... A story with an intriguing premise, an author with a great witty voice, and characters that are well developed..." – Storm Goddess Book Reviews

A literary twist on the traditional Christmas story, A SEASON OF SECRETS is the perfect winter read for fans of Barbara Kingsolver, LOVE, ACTUALLY, and THE FAMILY STONE.

There's Something About Mary—something noticeable—that baby bump she’s sporting. And something no one could ever guess—her prenatal exam shows she’s never had sex. Which really puts tiny Bellingham, Indiana on the map! And thereon hangs the real tale—a funny, warm, surprising one.

Mary’s got her own secrets—lots of them. But so does everyone else in Bellingham. Violet the waitress wants something badly! Dr. Bob has big plans. Joe the Postman has regrets. Cammy has a secret love. And Ted may not be quite as godly as he’d like people to think.

The varied ways the townsfolk welcome this waif from nowhere, enfolding her into their hearts and lives despite the air of mystery and strangeness surrounding her (not to mention the TV cameras and paparazzi), is one part heartwarming, one part laugh-out-loud funny.

WHO WILL LIKE IT: Sophisticated readers who like their Christmas goodies a little bit tart and a little sweet--like lemon bars or cranberry shortbread; who prefer LOVE, ACTUALLY to A CHRISTMAS CAROL; who'd like to leave the true meaning of Christmas a little bit mysterious--and possibly open to miracles.

WHO WILL BE OFFENDED: No one! It isn't anti-religious or anti-Christian or anti-Christmas. But it isn't religious either. Whether you're Baptist, or Pagan or Jewish or atheist, it's guaranteed not to offend your sensibilities! Because it's not about religion any more than BAD SANTA is. Although it may poke gentle fun at some of our more materialistic traditions, it's a good-hearted tale that's all about hope. It might even make you feel festive!
 

The #1 New York Times Bestseller

A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from Aziz Ansari, the star of Master of None and one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voices

At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?

Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?” 

But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.

For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but for Modern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before.

In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.

#1 New York Times Bestseller

"Amy Schumer's book will make you love her even more. For a comedian of unbridled (and generally hilarious) causticity, Schumer has written a probing, confessional, unguarded, and, yes, majorly humanizing non-memoir, a book that trades less on sarcasm, and more on emotional resonance." —Vogue

"The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo is an alternatingly meditative, sexually explicit, side-splittingly hilarious, heart-wrenching, disturbing, passionately political, and always staggeringly authentic ride through the highs and lows of the comedic powerhouse's life to date." —Harper's Bazaar

"This is your happy hour with Amy Schumer...It's Bossypants meets Trainwreck meets your long weekend." —TheSkimm

“Amy’s got your back. She’s in your corner. She’s an honesty bomb. And she’s coming for you.”
—Actress Tilda Swinton and Trainwreck co-star

The Emmy Award-winning comedian, actress, writer, and star of Inside Amy Schumer and the acclaimed film Trainwreck has taken the entertainment world by storm with her winning blend of smart, satirical humor. Now, Amy Schumer has written a refreshingly candid and uproariously funny collection of (extremely) personal and observational essays.

In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is—a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh.

Ranging from the raucous to the romantic, the heartfelt to the harrowing, this highly entertaining and universally appealing collection is the literary equivalent of a night out with your best friend—an unforgettable and fun adventure that you wish could last forever. Whether she’s experiencing lust-at-first-sight while in the airport security line, sharing her own views on love and marriage, admitting to being an introvert, or discovering her cross-fit instructor’s secret bad habit, Amy Schumer proves to be a bighearted, brave, and thoughtful storyteller that will leave you nodding your head in recognition, laughing out loud, and sobbing uncontrollably—but only because it’s over.