PRANKS. OIL. PROTEST. JOKES BETWEEN NEWLYWEDS. AND ONE HILARIOUS SIEGE OF A MAJOR CORPORATION.

Remmy grows up with Beth in Bellhammer, Illinois as oil and coal companies rob the land of everything that made it paradise. Under his Grandad, he learns how to properly prank his neighbors, friends, and foes. Beth tries to fix Remmy by taking him to church. Under his Daddy, Remmy starts the Bell Hammer Construction Company, which depends on contracts from Texarco Oil. And Beth argues with him about how to build a better business. Together, Remmy and Beth start to build a great neighborhood of "merry men" carpenters: a paradise of s’mores, porch furniture, newborn babies, and summer trips to Branson where their boys pop the tops of off the neighborhood’s two hundred soda bottles. Their witty banter builds a kind of castle among a growing nostalgia.

Then one of Jim Johnstone’s faulty Texarco oil derricks falls down on their house and poisons their neighborhood's well.

Poisoned wells escalate to torched dog houses. Torched dog houses escalate to stolen carpentry tools and cancelled contracts. Cancelled contracts escalate to eminent domain. Sick of the attacks from Texaco Oil on his neighborhood, Remmy assembles his merry men:

"We need the world's greatest prank. One grand glorious jest that'll bloody the nose of that tyrant. Besides, pranks and jokes don't got no consequences, right?"

:: PRAISE FOR LANCELOT SCHAUBERT AND BELL HAMMERS ::



"Schaubert recounts a mischievous man's eight decades in Illinois's Little Egypt region in his picaresque debut. Remmy's life of constant schemes and pranks and a lifelong feud with classmate Jim Johnstone and the local oil drilling company proves consequential. This is a hoot."

— Publisher's Weekly



“BELL HAMMERS is written in a style not unworthy of John Kennedy Toole and William Faulkner – the vivid characterization of Southern ethnography commingled with stark, episodic spectacle breathes with the spirit of quintessential Americana. It is a text I would happily assign in an American Novel class and would expect it to yield satisfying discourse alongside works in the canon, whether beside the sardonic prose of Mark Twain or the energetically painful narratives of Toni Morrison.”

— Dr. Anthony Cirilla



“Schaubert’s words have an immediacy, a potency, an intimacy that grab the reader by the collar and say, ‘Listen, this is important!’ Probing the bones and gristle of humanity, Lancelot’s subjects challenge, but also offer insights into redemption if only we will stop and pay attention.”

— Erika Robuck, national bestselling author of Hemingway’s Girl



“Myth, regret, the lore of our heritage and the subtle displays of our castes — no one so accurately and imaginatively captures the joys and sorrows of life in the Midwest as Schaubert does here. BELL HAMMERS is a Tree Grows in Brooklyn as told by Gabriel Garcia Marquez if Marquez lived in rural Illinois and only told stories to his grandkids. Seriously a delight to read.”

— Colby Williams, author of the Axiom Gold Medal winning book Small Town, Big Money



“Loved BELL HAMMERS because Lancelot wrote about people who don’t get written about enough and he did it with humor, compassion, and heart.”

— Brian Slatterly, author of Lost Everything and editor of The New Haven Review



“I’m such a fan of Lancelot Schaubert’s work. His unique view and his life-wisdom enriches all he does. We’re lucky to count him among our contributors.”

— Therese Walsh, author of The Moon Sisters and Editorial Director of Writer Unboxed

The International Bestseller!

Recommended by Oprah Magazine ∙ Cosmo ∙ PopSugar ∙ SheReads ∙ Parade ∙ and more!

An epic saga from New York Times bestselling author Stephanie Dray based on the true story of an extraordinary castle in the heart of France and the remarkable women bound by its legacy.
 
Most castles are protected by men. This one by women.

A founding mother...
1774. Gently-bred noblewoman Adrienne Lafayette becomes her husband, the Marquis de Lafayette’s political partner in the fight for American independence. But when their idealism sparks revolution in France and the guillotine threatens everything she holds dear, Adrienne must renounce the complicated man she loves, or risk her life for a legacy that will inspire generations to come.

A daring visionary...
1914. Glittering New York socialite Beatrice Chanler is a force of nature, daunted by nothing—not her humble beginnings, her crumbling marriage, or the outbreak of war. But after witnessing the devastation in France firsthand, Beatrice takes on the challenge of a lifetime: convincing America to fight for what's right.

A reluctant resistor...
1940. French school-teacher and aspiring artist Marthe Simone has an orphan's self-reliance and wants nothing to do with war. But as the realities of Nazi occupation transform her life in the isolated castle where she came of age, she makes a discovery that calls into question who she is, and more importantly, who she is willing to become.

Intricately woven and powerfully told, The Women of Chateau Lafayette is a sweeping novel about duty and hope, love and courage, and the strength we take from those who came before us.

What if I am the very darkness that I fear?

I’ve made a lot of bad decisions, like getting myself arrested and saying “I do” to an irresistible drug dealer. Even still, I managed to make some good ones, too. But when shadow-ridden nightmares encroach upon my waking life, my world flips upside down.

I search inside myself for answers, unleashing a powerful force from within that can face the shadow’s depths.

But those depths hide grave secrets within the very establishment sworn to protect us. Will I be able to save not only myself but countless others? Or is this all part of a greater delusion?


Content Advisory: Story contains mature themes and is intended for readers 18+

---------------------
What Amazon readers are saying:

★★★★★ 'A suspenseful urban fantasy adventure, unlike any I have ever seen'

★★★★★ 'I could not put this book down, and stayed up all night to finish!'

★★★★★ 'The dream sequences were written so well, they pulled me in, left me with the surreal feeling of having experienced them myself.'

About the Author
Rossana's inspiration comes from a variety of authors and genres, including McKenzie Hunter, Margaret Atwood, K.F. Breene, Silvia Moreno-Garcia, Arturo Perez-Reverte, Paolo Coehlo, Sarah Maas and so many more.

"A gay man questions Britain's repressive new political regime... Cacoyannis has written a thoroughly gripping novel, using the rhetoric of a real-life pandemic to fashion a chilling vision of an abnormal 'new-normal' to come." Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

London 2030. When a postman knocks on his door, the news he delivers will cause 70-year-old Anthony Pablo Rubens to reflect on all the sadnesses and joys of the past, while he begins to prepare for the surprises of the future.

The past still revolves around the moment in the summer of 1984 when young Anthony first realized he had fallen in love.

The present is a Kafkaesque nightmare worse than Orwell's 1984, "a hideous world where people don't need to be watched by Big Brother." It's a world that Anthony has mostly shut his eyes to, but which suddenly he is forced to confront.

And the future now encompasses the mystery, and excitement, and dread of a day as an exhibit at the National People's Museum.

A dystopian political satire, The Coldness of Objects is also a story of loss, and of different kinds of love.

"An intriguing, timely, and terrifying portent of life after Covid-19." Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

"a small jewel, filled with exquisite language, intimate human characters and poignant drama" Casey Dorman - Lost Coast Review

Contains Mature Themes and Strong Language.

Hamilton is crushed by a secret so shameful that it is beyond bearing.
His heir is dead; his daughter has gone insane with grief.
His dear wife, Eliza, now shudders at his touch.

He never intended to send his son to his death. That wasn't in his plans.
And his wife may never forgive him.

As Hamilton struggles to save his marriage and his family, his political opponent, Aaron Burr, threatens to topple the nation. The nation which Hamilton had risked everything to forge.

Burr, impoverished and embittered by a humiliating loss, blames Hamilton. Burr will stop at nothing to regain his lost power and restore his fortunes. If he can destroy and defame Hamilton in the process, he will have his ultimate triumph.

It is a time of honor, duels, political intrigues, and political violence.
It is an age of men.

Torn between his duty to his wife and family, and his allegiance to the country, Hamilton must make his choice.

You know his name, but this is the story that you haven't heard before! If you loved the score of Hamilton, the biographies of Chernow, and the novels of Stephanie Dray - you would love Hamilton's Choice!

Read it Today!

‘Everything happens for a reason.’
It’s 1972. Raymond Mann is seventeen. He is fearful of life and can’t get off buses. He says his prayers every night and spends too much time in his room.
He meets Ernest Gardiner, a gentleman in his seventies who’s become tired of living and misses the days of chivalry and honour. Together they discover a love of sunflowers and stars, and help each other learn to love the world.
Ernest recounts his experiences of 1917 war-torn France where he served as a photographer in the trenches … of his first love, Mira, and how his life was saved by his friend Bill, a hardened soldier.
But all is not as it seems, and there is one more secret that will change Raymond’s life for ever.
Cold Sunflowers is a story of love.
All love.
But most of all it’s about the love of life and the need to cherish every moment.

Find out more about the book and its author, Mark Sippings, at www.coldsunflowers.co.uk.

Kept apart by society, two lovestruck mariners face the forces of time, death, and the afterlife in order to reunite.

At the peak of the whaling boom in New Bedford, Massachusetts, in 1857, Nicolas Adams and his best friend, Henry Lawton, are living during a time when expressing their true feelings for each other is dangerous. After a prank goes disastrously awry, Nicolas and Henry are sent aboard Henry’s father’s whaling ship, where they experience a rough awakening to the harsh realities of seafaring life.

When Henry is seduced by another shipmate, Nicolas is forced to confront his growing romantic love for his friend. But before he can admit to his desire, the two of them are involved in a fatal accident, the consequences of which send Nicolas to the Realm, where he discovers that he will exist in the afterlife as an assignment angel—one who is sent to Earth to intervene in the lives of the living.

During an assignment, Nicolas returns to New Bedford and decides to seek revenge on the shipmates who were complicit in his fate, including Henry, who is now engaged to a woman. But Nicolas’s actions only lead to endless longing, and he must deepen his search to discover what is truly needed to reunite him with Henry.

Putting the will in willpower.

Josh McCain has two years to reinvent himself. Stripped of everything that made life a swanky, booze and babe-filled breeze, Josh embarks on a grueling and often hilarious two-year regimen of self-discipline that targets his mind, body, and spirit.

Along the way, skeptics mock him; his own past taunts him; and saboteurs resolve to stop him. But Josh is determined to complete his "bucket list from hell," and prove that who he was is not as important as who he can become.

Operating in unfamiliar territory, Josh turns to a cast of quirky characters to aid him on his secret journey; persons he'd have previously shunned. Upbeat and inspiring, The Will is an enthralling story of goofs and grit, of the regenerative power of friendship--and if Josh doesn't blow it--real love.

Yuki accidentally witnesses Jack Delgato murder an informant friend of hers and wants to avenge her death.

Jack is a crooked homicide cop, he’s in the police business, and the drug business. Jack also has an addiction, not to drugs, but a more dangerous one for Yuki, erotic asphyxiation.

Three novellas, each about seventy pages, depicting the power of blind spots in transforming our lives. In this collection meet Franck, who has to align his desires with his needs; Nathan, who has to adjust to his constantly changing turf; and, Cedric, who has to open his eyes to reconstruct himself.



The author:
Indrajit lives in Paris with his family. 'The Eye Opener' is his second work of fiction.

The ULTIMATE battle of the spouses!

Read the iconic novel that became a Hollywood box-office hit!

Jonathan Rose has a cushy law career, and Barbara's gourmet culinary business is just a pâté recipe away from glory. Add in their picture-perfect children - matrimonial perfection!


But the line between suburban bliss and guerilla warfare is thin...

When Jonathan has a heart attack scare, the sudden event unmasks their idyllic family life, revealing the loveless union underneath. The Roses' mutual hatred becomes ammunition in a bloody (and hilarious) domestic battle.

"The gradual progression from cuddly love to cooking the dog's liver into pate is... MESMERIZING!"

Read Adler's macabre divorce masterpiece today!

"A powerful story of seldom-sung heroines in humanity's darkest days and a vivid reminder of the power of conscience." -- Edgardo David Holzman, author of Malena

Throughout the occupied territories, Catholic Sisters were active members of The Nazi Resistance.

Based on letters and documents written by Catholic Sisters during the Nazi occupation of Belgium, this book tells the remarkable story of these brave and faithful women, and how they served to resist the German forces.

From running contraband to hiding Jews, from spying for the allies to small acts of sabotage, these courageous women risked their lives to help defeat the Reich.

This is a story that needs to be told.

"...an engaging account of World War Two as told through the voice of a fictional Belgian nun... fascinating and valuable." -- Donald Lystra, Author of Season of Water and Ice

"…a generous recounting of the deeds of marvelous nuns living in the midst of mortal danger. It's also a great read!" -- Father James Heft, Professor of Religion at the University of Southern California

Named to Kirkus Reviews' Best Books of 2018

July 1969. While men are walking on the moon, life in London for sixteen-year-old Jane takes unexpected turns. On the point of falling in love with her best friend Karl, she discovers that there's more to her father's spectacular girlfriend than at first meets the eye. In the sweltering heat of a fast-moving evening, other revelations quickly follow, reconciling Jane with her father but also reopening wounds from the past, laying bare raw emotions kept suppressed for too long. And as the evening draws to a close, the night's drama has only just begun, unfolding in a sequence of violent events that threaten to have lasting repercussions for Jane and the people she loves...

Lightened by music and humor and darkened by Kafkaesque dreams, with magic tricks, sexuality, and family secrets all playing a prominent part, The Madness of Grief is a coming-of-age tale of friendship, betrayal and loss.

Contains Mature Themes

For centuries, poets have argued that unrequited love is love in its strongest form. From Afar is a timeless tale of Morgan Stanfield's search for love in the far northern city of Saint Petersburg, Russia. Leaving the warm climate of Santa Barbara, he embarks on a four-day odyssey where he encounters a Russian beauty, a prostitute, a wise old babushka, an American chauvinist, intellectuals, the Russian mafia, and the 'face' of love, and comes to know how love from a distance can be more captivating than love close on hand.

After a loved-up adventure in a wood in North London, sixty-odd-year-old Lily drives off in her Classic Mercedes and takes a wrong turn. The day is unbearably hot, and the snazzy car's air-con is broken, blowing out hot air instead of cold. Lily follows the meandering road in a state of dehydration, and experiences a series of encounters with angels and demons and ghosts from the past.

From Kampala to London. From despair to hope. The power of kindness and love.

The year is 1972. President Idi Amin has a prophetic dream and evicts thousands of Asians from their homeland of Uganda. They are to lose everything. Among them is Birdie who arrives in England with her Cambridge educated husband Jack and their young son Mohin.

From a life of comfort and the beauty of East Africa, they are now penniless refugees in cold, grey London. A new life. A fresh start.

But Birdie’s plans to succeed are put to the test when an innocent victim reaches out for help and the reverberations from Idi Amin’s reign of terror are felt once again…

An uplifting tale of triumph over despair – and not turning away from our true path.

Some Reader Reviews:

‘Riveting and emotional’  

‘Read the whole book in a day. Absolutely could not put it down!’  

‘This will be the book I recommend to our Book Club when we resume meeting… It is magical’

‘Beautifully written, a real page turner’ 

‘Her family and acquaintances will touch your heart and have you thinking about them in between reads’  

‘Wonderful story-telling, rich with colour and detail. A compelling read.’  

‘I'm recommending it to all my friends’  

***Winner*** The Jemma Prize for Speculative Fiction 2019

International Book Award 2019 Finalist

"...author Isabella Ides has written what will surely become a classic." IndieReader: Judges Verdict

A rogue order of nuns, in tucked away in Humboldt County, are raising an undocumented deity on the down-low. Persecuted by the patriarchs of the Great Church and decimated by a plague of prayer eaters, The Sisterhood is on the verge of extinction when a white monkey appears in a snowstorm and makes a special delivery.

It is a holy night like no other—complete with a wandering star, three disreputable magi, and a babe mangered in a cardboard box.

Scandal alert!

The mere existence of the misbegotten baby god is a provocation. In celestial realms, the reputations of celebrity A-list Gods are at stake. On Earth, the undocumented deity is a threat to the birdmen of the Great Church—Cardinals, Hooded Crow, Cloistered Ravens, and gay Budgies, plus a malevolent Cassowary and an ancient Hierophant: His Holiness, the Divine Mallard of All Mysteries.

Luckily, a white monkey with impeccable spiritual credentials has broken out of bounds and jumped into this world!

Expect literary enchantments!

• Discover the cognate soul-group at the heart of the Sisterhood.
• Enter the Byzantine world of the Birdmen of the Great Church when the seven-year-old boy is kidnapped and brought to Mount Quoborium. Witness the heartstopping moment when the Hierophant questions the boy. Thrill to the astonishing spectacle when the divine monkey attempts a rescue. And don't miss a spirituous whiff of Humboldt Snow #9, a psychedelic game-changer like no other.

   

  OUT OF THIS WORLD(Literary Review)

  "WHITE MONKEY CHRONICLES shows author Isabella Ides to be a self-assured, equal-opportunity paradigm demolition expert. Storming entrenched temples of orthodoxy, shattering icons, upending conventions—the eponymous monkey blinks his eyes and worlds collide.

  But it’s in the reconstruction that the story wins our hearts. When bohemian Sister Merry Berry fires up her pink 1959 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz convertible, top down, in preparation for heavenly ascent, readers will aspire to hitch a ride, relishing the mind-expanding experience the transit has in store."

  Alexandra Bonifield

  Critical rant.com

  NEA/Annenberg and O’Neill Critics Institute Fellow

  A CLASSIC(Literary Review)

  "WMC: The Complete Trilogy is a delightful and thought-provoking walk along a multi-faceted road of philosophy, spirituality, and dystopia. Its pages are filled with marvelous word play, intriguing characters, and most importantly, a phenomenal plot surrounding the offspring of two transgressing gods and a group of lovable, resolute nuns. Funny, intellectual, and insightful, author Isabella Ides has written what will surely become a classic." --IndieReader: Judges Verdict.

•  

Maxy Awards "Book of the Year" 2019

Pencraft Awards "Best Fiction Book of 2019"

“Witty, occasionally crass, and an unqualified delight.” –KIRKUS REVIEWS

Is it too much to ask that a managed care facility refund a year’s advance payment when your grandfather dies before he can move in? Frank Johnson doesn’t think so, which is why the thirty-three-year-old now lives in a nursing home, locked in a chess match feud with management that doesn’t occupy nearly enough of his time.

When foster kid Elroy is thrust into his life, Frank decides to turn this forced relationship to his advantage – launching a string of absurd decisions, inappropriate behaviors and unexpected glimpses of tenderness that ultimately turn a New Jersey suburb upside down. A laugh-out-loud celebration of bad choices for good causes, Managed Care is an offbeat story about three misfits on the social fringes of suburbia and their ridiculous campaign to introduce an unfiltered version of intimacy to their stale, impersonal community. Because, according to Frank, it’s probably what Jesus would have wanted.

I'll get away from Hades–I have to. Even if it costs me everything. And it will cost me everything.

He takes me in the middle of the night, his eyes cruel in the moonlight. It's a deal, he says. My life for another.

I expect him to kill me. He doesn't.

I expect him to lock me away. He doesn't.

What happens is next is darker than midnight.

And worst of all?

I like it.

"Breathtaking, intense, and scorching hot, King of Shadows is the modern myth I've been waiting for." –Skye Warren, New York Times bestselling author

“Excuse me. Do you mind if I squeeze past?”

And so it begins.

Two strangers meet on a plane. 

One has a terrible confession to make. But is it safe to tell a stranger?

The other is haunted by past mistakes and looking for a fresh start.

Over the course of their ten-hour flight they come to know each other’s deepest, darkest secrets. 

Is confession good for the soul or is it better to keep your crimes bottled up inside?

Discover what becomes of Lee, Tamsin and Jake.

Rated FIVE STARS by real readers:

Praise for The Adulterer’s Handbook: A Novel

“Wow. This book is fantastic! I had absolutely no idea when I started reading that I'd be taken on this journey. The writing is great.”

“I really enjoyed this book. I'm not sure how to categorize it -- a thriller or just good fiction? Regardless, I highly recommend it! I didn't want to put it down!”

“The tale weaves its way down a winding path so beautifully that, before you know it, you're at this bizarre place in the story where every character is not who you thought they were!”

“I was drawn to this novel because I was interested to see how the author handled the subject of infidelity, purely from a male perspective. He’s done an excellent job.”

“The humour and author’s style are reminiscent of David Nicholls.”

“There is much to admire in this entertaining read. The dialogue is natural, the editing is well done and the narrative flows. All in all, a good debut novel and I feel sure we’ll see more from this promising new writer. I recommend you give it a try.”

“The book just becomes fun. It's like a puzzle that you're trying to figure out.”

“The internal dialogue is so hilarious that I literally LOL'd a few times.”